Little did they know that she had lain awake for hours, unable to sleep anymore.

Juno’s eyes were open and staring sightlessly at the white wall of their room, her back facing Viv and Darcy as she remained curled and motionless under the covers while they continued to quietly wake up.

She listened as her friends tried to begin the arduous task of packing, heard drawers being opened and shut as their stuffed clothes into their already bulging suitcases, heard closets being pulled open and hangers clanging together.

Juno heard every sound, but couldn’t bring herself to crawl out of bed and return to task of existing as a human being.

She’d fallen asleep before Darcy and Viv had ever come back to the room last night, her eyes swollen as she cried and cried until exhaustion had finally taken over and let her rest. Even as she lay in the dim morning light, she felt her eyes welling again, and she sniffled against her pillow.

“Junie?” Viv said in a hushed voice. “Are you awake?”

Juno swallowed, her dry throat aching. “Yeah.” She croaked softly.

“Get lots of beauty rest, honey?” Darcy asked in a bright voice, walking to the end of Juno’s bed and preparing to playfully pull the sheets from Juno’s still form. “Wakey, wakey, time for…” Darcy bit off her sing song voice as she saw tears roll down Juno’s face. “Honey? Honey, what is it?” She asked, her voice rising in concern and confusion.

Viv immediately crossed the room until they stood like two sentries at the end of Juno’s bed. “I knew something was wrong!” Viv burst out, reaching out to grasp Juno’s foot through the blanket. “I knew something was wrong last night.”

“What happened?” Darcy breathed, edging Viv over so that they could both sit on the end of the bed.

Slowly, Juno emerged from the cocoon of her covers and sat up, rubbing her eyes and swiping at the tears on her cheeks. “Everything.” She said dramatically, her bottom lip quivering. “Everything and nothing.”

“Tell us everything.” Viv insisted, sounding uncannily like a mother hen. “Start from when you walked out of the restaurant last night. From that moment on, Jamie was angry and you were no where to be seen.”

Juno sniffled and sat up straighter, pulling the covers around her and pushing her tangled hair back from her face. “Do you remember yesterday, when I said that there was nothing between Jamie and I?” Juno ventured, looking from one face to the other.

Viv nodded and Darcy arched an eyebrow. “Yeaaaah.” She said, dragging out the word and watching Juno closely.

“Okay, that wasn’t entirely the truth.” Juno admitted, squeezing her eyes shut for a long moment. “In fact, it was a total and blatant lie.”

“Want to tell us the truth?” Viv asked gently, reaching out to take her hand and give it a squeeze. “So that we can feel really, really bad about flirting with a man you have a thing for? And tell us how angry you are with us, even though we didn’t know about it.”

Juno shrugged and looked down at the blankets. “Okay, I was a little upset last night.”

“Because we were lusting your man?” Darcy asked blatantly. “Because you told us he was fair game?”

“I feel bad about that.” Juno said honestly. “For a lot of reasons.”

“Start from the beginning, honey.” Viv commanded, pulling her feet up under her and preparing to hear the real story of the last two days in Juno’s life.

**

Darcy let out a long wolf whistle and shifted on the bed, her eyes still trained on Juno. “I’m not sure where to start.” She said honestly. “With the fact you shacked up with Jamie Frasier…”

“Fulham.” Juno said glumly.

“You know what I mean.” Darcy shot back easily. “Or with the fact you didn’t tell us the minute you got back, or the fact you are totally miserable when he’s not around, or the fact that he disappeared from the dinner table last night and we haven’t seen him since.”

“He told me to tell you he was sorry he couldn’t spend the evening with you guys, and that it was very nice meeting you both.” Juno recited from memory. “He said you were both charming – in a very American way.”

“What does that men?” Viv asked, wrinkling her nose. “Sounds awful.”

“I think he meant it nicely.” Juno said with a small shrug, hiding her own private smile at Jamie’s assessment of Viv and Darcy’s flirting style.

“So, tell me again what happened last night when he came to the room.” Darcy demanded, her eyes narrowed as she watched Juno. “And tell me why you didn’t lock the door and keep him tied to the bed all night. I would have.” Viv shot Darcy a warning glance, and Darcy’s voice rose to almost a squeak. “Well, I would have!”

Juno smiled for the first time in twenty minutes, imagining herself trying to tie Jamie Fulham to the bed. “If only I’d thought of that.” Juno joked, making Viv and Darcy smile.

“Tell us.” Viv ordered, her voice commanding.

Juno sighed. “Just like I told you… he came in here, I told him to get lost because it was too hard being around him, knowing we were going to have to say goodbye, he begged me to stay, and then right as I was about to crack, he got paged for some stupid delivery up the coast.” Juno fell back against the pillows and pulled her knees up to her chest tightly. “He made me promise not to leave without saying goodbye, then he kissed me once, and then he was gone.”

“Wow.” Darcy breathed. “That’s like out of a movie.”

“If it were a movie, he’d be camped outside our door by now with a mariachi band or a dozen roses.” Viv argued, making all three of them glance at the hotel room door and listen for a long moment.

Juno shook herself and looked back to her friends. “I cried all night because I know I’ll never see him again.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “And now my heart hurts.”

“So does mine.” Darcy replied honestly, eliciting a startled glance from both Viv and Juno. “Hey, I’m not totally unfeeling, you guys!” She defended, looking hurt. “I’m a romantic at heart, too, you know. My heart hurts for you guys. And for you not telling us to back off of Jamie. I feel like the worst friend on the planet.”

“I second that.” Viv replied. “You should have told us, June.”

Juno shook her head slowly no. “I couldn’t. I just…I couldn’t, you know. In some ways, if I told you the spell of the last two days would have been broken. Or you would have told me I was insane, or desperate for a man. Or…” She rubbed her temples. “I don’t know why I do most of the things I do.”

“Like not tying Jamie to the bed when you had the chance?” Darcy chanced with a grin, making Juno finally laugh out loud.

“Exactly. Like not tying him to the bed when I had the chance.” Juno smiled, her mind wandering from bondage to that magical first kiss on Craigh na Dun to Jamie walking out the door last night.

And like a flash of lightning, Juno’s memories crashed and her eyes welled with tears again.

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before . after